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“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” (Thomas Meehan, Annie)

This post is difficult for me to write…but also exciting for me and my family. I have been writing and re-writing this post so many times because any of you that follow my blog know what an open book I am. And I want to be transparent to all of my faithful readers, family and friends because of the love and support you’ve shown me over the years. I so appreciate you!

When I decided to leave Target Corporation after having our 2nd little guy, Bennett, it was to stay at home. Stay at home and pursue my kids and my passion for my photography business. Even though I’d had my business for over 6 years by then, I’ve found that having more time for it without any other job has allowed it to grow and morph into something more beautiful and honoring than I was expecting  – a creative process that has been a joy! It is such a gift when I get a phone call from a bride thanking me for the beautiful sneek peek on my blog, or a mom coming up to me at a wedding thanking me for making the process so ‘smooth’, or a past bride & groom calling me to ask me to take maternity photos for them, and then newborn photos when baby arrives. What a blessing I’ve been given that for the past 9 years I’ve been showering clients with a treasure they will have forever! A moment in their life that is frozen in time, capturing the beauty and essence and sometimes craziness (in the case of my family) that is LIFE! It has truly been an honor.

But there is this entirely different side of my life that sometimes gets neglected due to my busy wedding season, crazy-long editing hours, and weekends away. My family. I’ve been juggling many hats for many years; wife, mom, Target employee, photographer, sister, daughter, friend. And I’m ready to not juggle so many anymore – but just to focus on the most important – my family & friends. So my husband and I prayed for a long time, had numerous conversations, and really took months to decide what direction my business should take. And we’ve decided that it’s time for my business to take a little break for a while….

I know, let it soak in.

Whew. Okay….

I’m not that naïve to know what this could mean for my business. It seems every day there is a new ‘photographer’ hitting the market, so I know that taking a step back may mean it’s gone forever, but I believe in my talent and know that if God opens up another door for me sometime in the area of photography that I can boldly walk through with confidence.

But for now, for this moment in my life, with baby boy #3 on the way, and 2 precious little men that deserve my attention, and love, and Saturdays, and a husband that works so hard to make our family comfortable, who I miss on weekends and crave time with in the evenings when I’m editing, for now, they are my passion. They are my priority. They are the reason I decided to stay home in the first place and they are what I am meant to do.

I can say that now without crying. Ha! This has been a very difficult decision to make but one that I know is right, and one that the Lord has confirmed is right for our family. And it does bring a smile to my face knowing the time and energy I will have back to invest in my precious family while my boys are still young and at home with me. But while this decision feels so good – it’s still hard. Because the other side of me will greatly miss my amazing clients!  The very BEST part of my job are my clients I get to work with and enjoy seeing year after year. New clients that I have consultations with, shoot engagement sessions for, and get to photograph their beautiful wedding day. Those same clients calling me a year or two later for maternity photos and newborn sessions. The people and the images I’ve produced have made photography SO rewarding and SO fun!

I want to thank my amazing clients, most that have turned to friends! Thank you for so loyally following me down the road of first learning digital when I finally made the switch from film, for asking me to photograph not one but two and three of yours sons/daughters weddings, to those families that I first took newborn photos for and now your babies are 6 and 7-years-old. To the brides that have referred me and given me another fantastic person to interact with and preserve memories for, thank you. Thank you for following me on this journey of graduating college, getting married, having babies, all of the heartache and joy we’ve experienced. Thank you for being my fans!! I am going to miss you most. You are wonderful and unique and each memory I captured was meaningful to me.

I also want to thank my amazing husband, Brian. You have been more than supportive to me through all of this. You were my photography subject through most of college (you were an easy subject, love!) you cheered me on at Target and partnered with me in the decision to leave. You understand the core values we wanted to raise our family under and you have been my biggest cheerleader in wrapping up this business and focusing on pouring into our beautiful family. I love you more and more everyday and LOVE doing this life with you. I am so anxious for this next stage for us and know God has great things in store for us!

I will STILL be clicking away on my camera – for FUN projects! – hoping to dive into areas I haven’t in quite some time and of course, photographing my favorite subjects…my beautiful boys! This is a new journey of self-discovery for me, one that I know is bittersweet in so many ways, but one that has great reward in my family. So stay tuned, keep checking my blog, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your loyalty and love of my images! I treasure you!

August 24, 2012 - 4:14 pm

mom - Wow…nicely said, congrats, and I read it with tears…I admire and love your passion for all the gifts in your life …always cheering for you. Mom

August 24, 2012 - 4:22 pm

jessica johnson - I am proud of you dear friend! Thank you for being obedient to what you think God is asking you to be! I love you!!!

August 24, 2012 - 4:53 pm

Ranee - I check in on your blog from time to time to oooh and aaah at the beautiful pictures you’ve taken — not only gorgeous images, but images that evoke emotion even to outsiders. You’ve taken pictures for a couple of my friends, but not my family so I only know your work through the observation of others, but you are truly talented and that talent will survive on-hold for a few years while you focus your attention on something so much more meaningful. So, congratulations on your decision and enjoy your mom-time!

August 24, 2012 - 4:55 pm

B - Love you!

August 25, 2012 - 2:25 am

Sarah Wahl - Couldn’t be happier for you!

August 25, 2012 - 4:20 am

cate @ wild ruffle - So hard to make a decision to break away from something you love. It’s often hard to realize that when you’re saying ‘no’ to something you’re saying ‘yes’ to something else. God has given you a talent for photography, and He’ll let you know when the time is right to come back to it professionally – and there’ll always be room in the market for you! But He’s also given you an amazing talent for mothering those boys, and I’m excited to see what happens for you in the future.:)

August 25, 2012 - 7:10 pm

AJ - Thank you so much for your talent. We treasure every photo you have taken of our growing family. So glad you will be able to spend more time focusing on yourself and your beautiful family. xx

September 3, 2012 - 7:05 pm

melissa - So happy for you and your family! I know how hard this can be, because I have done it for my family. There is a lot that has taken a back seat the past few months and I have LOVED not having to think about a blog post, sewing or placing a Norwex order. I have enjoyed the last summer before school starts to be with my family. And as they start school, I am still saying no to a few things…because they need me when I pick them up after school.
You are such a creative person and you will know when the time is right to come back! Enjoy those boys in your life!

Miss ya!

September 18, 2012 - 3:47 am

karen - Jac, you are an amazing woman and mother, and I pass on the Lord’s blessings to you & your family in this next chapter. I’m realizing too that our children are only young once…I too decided to say no to my business and am now at home full-time. It’s such a special time to be together.

And congrats on your new little one on the way!

Take care.

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